Contemplating Life Through the Delicious Turon

photo by cc from inuyaki

I love turon. It's one of my all time favorite snacks!

It's a lovely banana carefully and lovingly wrapped in a thin flour wrapper. (Sorry I excluded the jackfruit, I never liked it.) It gets rolled around in brown sugar, then off to a hot oil bath on the frying pan. 

Notice how it tastes when you take that first crunchy bite? It's generally sweet but your tongue is greeted with small pockets of bitterness care of the burnt sugar. Then bite further and you get more sweetness from the soft and chewey bananas. Yum. I'm definitely craving for one now.

I guess this is how we can view life as well. There are times when life wraps us up in problems holding us prisoner. Other times we enjoy rolling around in the wonders of life, just the way the turon would roll around sugar. Then life pulls as away from the good things and throws us back into the hot oils of life again where we experience pain, distress and loneliness.

Such is the cycle of life. But notice how in the end, the ups and downs turn us into something well-balanced? With a combination of crunchiness and softness, sweetness and bitterness, we taste better- or in our case, we become better. 

I suppose I wouldn't have life any other way then, for it's the challenges and triumphs that all blend well together to make us into the great people we are today.

Emptiness has a Silver Lining Too

photo by cc from Raina aka Neha

Dealing with loss means dealing with emptiness.

Isn't it obvious? After all, there was some part of me that has been taken away. And often, it feels like I'll never get it back.

This is what I am going through now. Emptiness. It's a scary, dark and cold room that I'd rather not be in. It's a void space that is numbing yet painful. It's space I wish to fill.

Dark days, it seems, are upon me. No matter how hard I try to replace this bleak outlook with a sunnier one, it's not working- at least for the moment. 

Someone told me that emotions are connected to one's outlook in life. So, all I have to do is change how I see things and my emotions should be replaced with happier ones. Sigh. Easier said than done.

Now the question is, how do I get myself to view empty space as good? Especially when I crave desperately for it to be filled?

So here's my epiphany for today: embrace emptiness.

What does that mean?

Simple. Instead of mentally noting what I hate about being single, I can do the opposite. I can list down reasons why being alone can benefit and allow me to get more out of life. I can choose this time to pursue missed opportunities or other passions, instead of focusing on all the negativity. In short, I can opt to see the glass as half full, rather than half empty.

Happiness isn't how great situations and people make me feel, but how great I choose to see the same situations and people. 

Mantra for the day: every cloud has a silver lining. I'm definite that where I am now is just a "staging area" so I can be a better person, so that I can prepare for the next phase in my life. Whatever that may be.

Curve Balls, Fish and Straight Balls

Life throws us curve balls.

We know they are coming but we don't know when. Mine came recently. In retrospect, I did see it coming, but I guess I just didn't want to believe it could happen. But it has and that damn curve ball has hit me right in the face. It hurts like nothing has ever before.

I suppose I expected life to only pitch straight balls. It was a nice dream, but some dreams are meant to remain dreams.

I fought the curve ball concept for a while by refusing to accept what was happening to me. I questioned a lot of things and hated my new and unwanted phase in life. Simply put, I wanted to shoot life right between its eyes.

However, I spoke to a dear friend recently and he asked me this: Have you ever seen fishermen catching fish? 

Yes.

When they cast their net, he said, and fish are trapped in it, notice how there are some fish that try to escape by wriggling and frantically moving? The problem is the more they do this, the more they get caught in the net. But if they keep still, then their body would just slip through the net, freeing them.

As he uttered his last word, a light bulb went off inside my head- or should I say turned on. The more time I spent questioning my life, wondering why I am where I am, I became the frantic fish. I've been kicking and screaming since this whole thing happened to me and it hasn't helped me one bit. The more I resisted, the deeper I became entangled in sadness.

That very day I decided  that I wanted out of sadness's net. This was only possible if I choose to become still, which meant that it was high time to accept things the way they really are. I needed to take a deep breath and say: It has happened, it is happening. Though it hurts, it is where I am now.

And as I looked around at this "now" phase I am in, I realized that it's not as horrible as it seems. Why? Because "now" is how I make it to be. I can always choose to see the beauty in life instead of focusing on the sadness.

Acceptance isn't the bat you missed the curve ball with, but the mindset that there will be other straight balls you can hit.

Hello and welcome!

Dearest Reader,

I am in my (very) late 20's and have been very pensive recently.

I've been thinking a lot that there has to be more to life than what I have now. Then I realized that yeah, there is... it's helping people.

Like I've said, I've been very pensive about life lately. I'm going through certain changes that are rigged with sadness but lots of opportunities as well. I thought that by chronicling my thoughts and discoveries of life, I may be able to reach out to some of you and make life actually enjoyable. That maybe I can help you in some way through writing.

So if you want more than a simple story from a blog, then you're at the right place. I'll also be sharing important lessons that I've picked-up by walking (and falling) through life's long and winding road.

Stay tuned!

Angel